Stand Down

I’ve begun this year with one goal: commanding my fears to stand down.

I’ve spent much of my life so desperately wishing to belong that it has taken me in the complete opposite direction: I’ve accidentally become quite rebellious. Although, as Grand Master Oogway would say, “There are no accidents.”

Seeking belonging can imprison us. Belonging to a place, a community, a profession, a significant other, or an identity may spring to mind when we reflect on what it means to experience a sense of belonging but, I think it’s something much deeper than that.

We spend life craving to belong. I did.

We chase it, and in some instances are so disconnected from our true Self that we’ll do whatever it takes to convince ourselves otherwise.

We’ll overthink, loop thought patterns in our minds to persuade ourselves that we’re making the right choices, all because we’ve latched onto feeling a slight sense of belonging, outside of ourselves.

Often these thoughts are underpinned with fear: “I finally feel like I belong, so I’ll do whatever I can to stay here.” But remember friends, we’re looping and latching… it’s a frantic energy. A true sense of belonging doesn’t feel like this.

So, what does it feel like?

In the last few seconds as you drift off to sleep, or in a rare moment of complete solitude, in prayer, or in flow, what is it that you feel?

For me, it’s a connection. A connection to something much greater, much wiser and freeing. I exist because of it and it exists because of me. There’s a mutual, loving and unconditional understanding.

 A true sense of belonging goes much further than what we perceive as “real”, or what we can see, hear, taste, smell and touch.

We’re yearning to belong inside ourselves. To build a home within.

A sanctuary we can retreat to when the demands and responsibilities of belonging elsewhere become strained.  

A sacred space that houses all of our truths. (Yes, even the really painful ones are welcome.)

It is this space we are seeking. As we heal, we build this home.

Now, was I trying to squash my inner rebel all along? Is that what was making me feel so desperate? The fear of unleashing her and not knowing if she would belong…?

I can now appreciate the sense of belonging I was searching for is much deeper than anything I’d imagined. This journey is revealing to me what true belonging feels like, without the façades, masks and distractions. Without fear, and the noise of the circus!

It’s revealed that my inner rebel - she absolutely belongs! 

So, you already belong, just as you are. There is no need to seek validation elsewhere. 

We can’t always expect the world to mirror back to us the ways in which we truly belong, and if it doesn’t, that’s your calling to turn inward and start building your sanctuary within.  

With love,

Jessica xxx